Bedtime! I’ll read you one story before lights out. Ah, here’s a classic.
Once upon a time, long ago … No, I don’t think there were velociraptors. It wasn’t that long ago. No, there weren’t any sabre-toothed tigers, either. Yes, I know you like them, but they can’t be in the story. Why? Because I’m telling it!
Once upon a time, in a land far way…No, it wasn’t Nepal. Yes, I’m sure it is a beautiful country, but the story didn’t happen there. How about France? It may not be now, but it was far away then. Okay, okay, it was a far away country that doesn’t exist now called Landia. I don’t care if it’s a stupid name; that’s where the story happens.
Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful princess … What! No, she didn’t stink! Where did that come from? People in general may not have bathed long ago, but this was a very special country where they all bathed every day. No, she didn’t have to go to school. Why? Because she was a princess. I know Prince Harry went to school, but she didn’t. No, she wasn’t ignorant; she had tutors! Yes, they would have taught her about velociraptors…and Nepal. The solar system? I don’t know. I give up!
Once upon a time, during the late Cretaceous period, in Nepal, there lived a perfectly ordinary, smelly girl who was eaten by a velociraptor. The End. Happy?
No, I don’t know what else the velociraptor had to eat that day.