It’s all in the stops

It’s all about the stops.

And~ Go!

One, two, three, four, one, two, three, four, STOP. One, two, three, four, one, two, three, four, STOP. One, two, three, four, one, two, three, four, STOP.

The words one and two – how long are you holding those? Long enough? Short enough? You can’t hear it in the words, you have to feel it in the beats. And when you take breath, there is silence, a stop in sound. What is in the silence? It is in the silence before the storm that cascades through your memories that lies… You know that tune… Do you remember?

Do you remember love? It is in the stops – the moment of no sound as you hear, the moment of no breath as you see, the moment of no doubt as you feel, the moment of no fear when you know.

Just as it begins with a stop, it all ends with a stop. The one, two tattoo of your heart stops, the breath stops. It’s all about the stops.

7 thoughts on “It’s all in the stops”

  1. I had to read this out loud to appreciate it – really like the rhythm and sound of it.

    I like the music section for this quality and I think it serves well as introduction to the ideas.

    But for me the love paragraph is the highlight – beautiful and elegant with strong Toaist vibes. I wish I had written that paragraph.

    So I liked the bits very much but feel that it doesn’t fit together particularly well; I found it disjointed – the umbrella idea of ‘it’s all in the stops’ is perhaps a bit broad is a bit broad for the length perhaps.

  2. This has a staccato flow of consciousness kind of feeling, which I like. It is edgy, jittery. I also really like some of the language, e.g., “the one, two tattoo of your heart” and “and when you take breath there is silence” and “the moment of no breath as you see”.

    But it doesn’t quite come together for me. For example, in the bit,
    “It is in the silence before the storm that cascades through your memories that lies… You know that tune… Do you remember?”

    it begins strong but loses itself a bit for me towards the end.

    1. There are many things I would fix with this bit o’ text were I to do it again. To be honest, I don’t like the end. I think it’s too abrupt.

      I’m glad some of it appeals though 😀

  3. This is very beautiful, and very much poetry, really, with the rhythmic feel of it. Very much a start – stop rhythm, which fits in well with the theme!

    I agree with cbraz and elementalsystems about some of the bits not fitting as well as others, but there is a lot of very strong stuff here. I like the questioning, prodding, pontificating voice of it – like an old teacher, prod, prod, prodding you about your recorder.

    I think most of the kinks would be sorted out with some minor editing to make odd ends fit in better, and it’s a strong piece that would take that sort of revision well!

  4. Nice!
    Poetic and punchy.

    I also have a slight feeling of it not quite fitting together well, but I did enjoy the bits that make it up.
    I kind of liked the abrupt end: it fits with the staccato (good word, cbraz!) feeling of the piece. I might have pushed the last sentence into its own paragraph though.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *