Baby Blues

I was born to be a momma. That’s what I told them, baby blue, I told them that straight away. It ain’t about the grant, it ain’t about nothing like that. I just wanted a baby of my own, a little soft baby to look after, to love and hold. That’s all I want.

So they gave me the test, they gave me you, baby blue. Oh, what a strange bundle you were, all warm and wriggly, just like a real baby, a little blue baby. No matter, I can look after a baby, real or blue, I’ll pass any old test. I held you and I fed you, I burped you and I washed you. Nothing to it, day in, day out, all night, all day. What a happy baby, you’re acing that old test, people said. You’ll be getting the permit any day, any day, that’s what they’d say.

Oh, my baby blue, my little bluebell. You and I, what a great team we made, for that test, that big old test. Look at mommy’s letter, right here it says: “Congratulations! You passed the parenthood competency test.” Competency, what a big word, my bluebird! Can you say competency? What a good girl you are! “Please return testing device BLU-1551 to your nearest reproduction control centre to receive your permit”, now that’s a bit of tosh. Return my little Blue Belle, return my little treasure? Not a chance, my baby blue, not even a tiny chance.

I was born to be a momma, you see, and you were made to be my little baby. My tiny little blue baby.

3 thoughts on “Baby Blues”

  1. This is great. A perfect example of how passing a test really does mean nothing. Passing tests of knowledge and knowledge from experience are very different and even then it all means nothing somewhere along the line.

  2. Our Hero wants to be a mother; she’s been given an artificial child as a test to see whether she can qualify for a “pregnancy” permit of some kind. However, Our Hero becomes overly attached to the testing device, and is unwilling to return it — even though returning it is required in order to get her permit.

    Nice voice. The “ain’t” and the talk of a grant made me think that the narrator was possibly a high-school kid, or someone very young.

    I thought that the mother had some great psycho vibes when she’s telling the doll that she wouldn’t be returning it. I think the voice she explains it in sounds obsessed and unwavering. I liked it.

  3. How… topical. 😉

    A woman wants to take a parenthood competency test and as part of this receives a baby facsimile as a testing device. She becomes very attached to the device and does not want to return it, even though doing so would let her receive a permit to have a (real) baby.

    Lovely and creepy and quite uncomfortable. Great voice on the mother; her obsession with her babyblue is quite clear. And odd.
    Talk of the grant made me think of Lundun Chavs and council estates. Innit.

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