Edward liked that people drew breath to live.  He liked it even more when they stopped breathing.  When he stopped them breathing.  Nobody knew that, of course.  They would send him to jail or maybe stop his breathing.  They just didn’t understand, everyone always says ‘it’s the little pleasures in life’ but they would never include his pleasures.  On the whole, it didn’t seem fair.  But life is never fair, so Edward didn’t tell anyone about his little pleasures in life.  He would sit at gatherings and smile when people spoke of such mundane pleasures – reading the newspaper in the morning with coffee, watching a sports game with friends, watching their children play at the seaside.  They really knew so little of what pleasure there could be in the world.

But Edward was now beginning to understand why people didn’t include his pleasures when they spoke.  His pleasures were not pleasant to experience firsthand.  They were uncomfortable.  And a bit frightening.  The effort of drawing breath was taking its toll on Edward.  If someone didn’t find him under the rumble soon, he would die.  He would no longer be breathing.  His breath would be stopped.

Light hit his face and he was saved.  And as he drew in such sweet air, he began to forget the understanding that had began within him and smiled at the thought of a life filled with pleasures.

The Colour Light

There are only a few of us left now.  Huddled together in the soft yellow light – the safe light.  Safe from the dark spreading out before us.  We can all see it, standing in the yellow light looking out, the heavy dark.  With its secrets.   We can’t see them but we know they are out there… Just there.  Like the cold…  The cold rolls into the yellow light relentlessly.  You can lose your eyes against the dark but the cold shatters all illusion.  But we can also see… the white light.  We see it moving in the dark.  Near, far, nearer still – every time the white light comes close, touching the yellow light, there is a moment… Who is next?  Who will leave with the white light?  Me?  The cold, the dark, the white light that leaves you behind, the waiting… But we know there is only one end – the white light.  We all know the white light will come for us but which white light will take one of us away from the safe yellow light and into the dark?  The cold, heavy dark.  With its secrets.  A white light comes closer and I know it is for me.  But I am ready…

I leave the yellow light of the office doorway and cross the white light of the car headlights to the passenger door – my lift home has arrived on this cold winter night.